Today, I had my third interview for a promotion at work. It is a huge promotion, guaranteeing me a 50%+ raise. Huge. Amazing.

One of those life-altering things that most people would call their parents about and bask in their pride.

But I can't.

I am happy. I am so proud of myself for all of the interviews and extra work I have taken on while simultaneously moving out of my house with less than 24 hour notice (water pipes breaking leading to landlords deciding to demolish the house... lack of water forcing me to uproot my life).

But right now, in this moment... I feel empty.

Part of me is saying that my feelings are ridiculous. I have proved myself to several different people after only working with the company for 6 months. I have taken on a challenge at work while fighting my ass off for a place to live that has running water.

And then the other part of me kicks in... "But no one cares."

I know that some people care, but... well, now is not the time to show it.

My sister-in-law's response? To tell me about the newest fight she is in with her 13-year-old daughter.

My brother's response? He has none. He probably didn't hear me. Even if he did, there is no response.

One of my closest friends? He decided to tell me about his horrible day... and week... In this moment, we are both being selfish.

My boyfriend is sick, so he is asleep, which is good. I hold nothing against him for this! He told me he was happy for me. I am just wishing the universe would let up for a few days so that I could at least celebrate with him.

And although I intellectually know that no one's response is personal or should leave me feeling ignored, I still have the same response...

I want to have a parent to call. I want my mother or father to be proud. I know that my mom would be, but... she's not here. So I am alone, once again, turning a very happy moment in my life into yet another reminder that my mother is dead and my father is gone.